But I can’t.

I tried.  I really did.  There are piles of books strewn all over my living room as evidence of my failed attempt to let go.

Sandra Boynton, Karen Katz, Eric Carl, Eric Hill.  Lift the flaps and crinkly, noisy, touchy books.  This beautiful library of board books started both girls down the path of loving to read.  How could they have been left behind so quickly?

In my head I know that keeping board books won’t keep my girls little, but my heart just isn’t ready to part with them yet.

Anna: “Mama, what is that on top of the roof?”
Me: “That’s the chimney, honey, for the fireplace we never use.”
Carolyn: “Yeah, we’ve never used it, have we?”
Me: “Well, not since before you were born.”
Carolyn: “Oh!  Is that because it contributes to greenhouse gases?  When I was born did you start thinking more about the world around you because you wanted to be more environmentally responsible for me and all the other children in the world?”
Me: “Um…well, honestly?  It made the house too stinky.”
Carolyn: “Oh.”

Maybe sometimes honesty is not the best policy!  Also, where on earth did she come up with that whole speech?  I mean, we are pretty environmentally friendly, but have never talked about these things in anything approaching those words…

Carrie has hit that stage. She seems to have grown overnight, into impossibly long legs and really big feet, and something about her face has changed – her nose? the shape of her eyes? – to look older. Suddenly it seems appropriate for her to be watching Arthur and Electric Company instead of Sesame Street and Dora.

They grow up too fast. It’s such a cliché, but it’s true. Much too fast.

So Carrie got off the bus yesterday and declared school to be boring.  She said the only part she liked was recess and that was too short.

And then Anna turned out to be feverish right after dinner, and was up half the night.  She apparently has the same virus that Carrie did last weekend.  The only thing more pathetic and sad than a 4 year old with a tummy bug is a 1 year old with a tummy bug.  Poor baby has been crying most of today…

But at least today seems to have been better for Carrie.  When asked how her day went, she told me it was good, and only a little bit boring.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better for all of us!

It involves one of those magical inventions: the car cart.

The big girl is still happy to ride, and in the process entertains her sister and can dole out snacks as needed.  The little girl loves playing with the steering wheel and squeaky horn.  As long as I don’t drag the trip on for too long, it’s great!

Anna and I are going to have to figure out a new plan next week, as I’m not so sure she’ll be happy to ride all alone up front.  I guess I’ll go back to the regular kind of cart until she’s old enough to ask for a car!

Let’s see.  There’s the diaper bag, of course.  And a small knitting bag just in case for some reason I have time to knit.  (I’ve kept up this delusion for almost five years now, that I might have time to knit wherever I go.  It doesn’t really happen all that often.)  And then there’s the picnic lunch I’ve packed for all of us.  And sunblock, water bottles, hats and a soccer ball.  Plus a camp chair.  Really, I feel ridiculous loading all of this into and out of the stroller basket!

I did have a little run-in with a less-than-nice person when I sat down in an out-of-the way corner of one of the rooms to nurse Anna, though.  She didn’t actually confront me, but accosted a staff member to complain about how all these women had the nerve to just sit down wherever they wanted to and whip it all out to feed their babies, and why on earth couldn’t they just do that in the bathroom?  It creates such awkward situations with her 6 year old screaming “Look, Mommy, boobies!”  And really, what about the dads who come to the museum and have to witness it?  Won’t somebody think of the dads?!?  Somehow there was also some bit about a Jim Carrey movie in there too, about how his (adult) character went up to a nursing mother in a park and started nursing and how disgusting that was.

For the record, other than myself, this woman, and one other mother, plus the 6 or 7 children who belonged to us all, the room was deserted.  Also, I don’t “whip it all out” when I nurse.  Anna and I have a lot of practice being discreet.  You’d have to stare pretty long and hard to even see a flash of my nursing bra, let alone any skin.  Plus, well, my right to nurse wherever I want (and I don’t want to nurse in a bathroom, thank you very much) is protected by law.  Oh!  And the little room set aside for nursing moms, that I would have prefered to use anyway?  That was occupied by a bottle feeding dad.  I have no idea what the Jim Carrey movie has to do with me.

Soooooo.

Luckily I managed to get over her insane ranting (it helped that the staff member apologized profusely (though it certainly wasn’t her fault) after the woman left, and that the other mother in the room was very supportive) and have a great rest of the day at the museum.

But sheesh.  Some people.

At the same time, I’m not ready for kindergarten.  Carrie is most certainly ready, but I am not.  I wish there were a half-day option in our district.  I wish I could keep her home with me forever.  I wish she’d stay four-and-three-quarters for always.

But, since that can’t happen, we’re going to make the best of it.  Here’s to a wonderful start to school and a lifetime of learning!

And I got a lovely bouquet of flowers from Denis and the girls:

lilacs, snapdragons, bleeding hearts...pretty!